i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
