it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
