We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We were destined to go to rehab together
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
