I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
