This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
