I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Randomize
