I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
BRING THE BAGELS
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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