I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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