i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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