It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
