anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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