Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
