I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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