just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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