I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
