woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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