He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
