would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
