Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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