Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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