It was confusing and full of hummus
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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