fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
