She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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