Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
