Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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