So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
