Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
