I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
