So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
