You smell like stripper and shame
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
