Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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