ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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