Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
this will be a night to untag.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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