im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone came in the potted fern
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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