He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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