i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
