bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
