Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
