she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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