She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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