Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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