It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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