You just made me feel so damn special
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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