The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
