You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
