I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
