i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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