I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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