YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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