Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
