I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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