Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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