Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
