I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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