I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
